I think a lot of people are just plain exhausted. We have jobs, families, responsibilities, commitments, people who need things from us, and a never-ending list of things that seem important. Of course we're busy.

It's easy to convince ourselves that one thing is the problem. If I could just leave this job. If I could just get through this season. If I could just get caught up. If I could just retire. If I could just get a little more help.

And sometimes changing those things really does make a difference. More often, however, we make the change only to discover that burnout came right along with us.

The difference between people who are busy and feel like they're carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders and people who are busy and seem relatively at peace is the pressure we put on ourselves, the expectations we carry, and the belief that we should be able to do more, handle more, manage more, achieve more, or somehow be more.

Many of us have spent years operating under definitions of success that we never consciously chose. We inherited them, absorbed them, and watched other people live by them. And before we know it, we're chasing after something we haven't even stopped to question whether we want or is right for us.

For me, one of the biggest weights came off my shoulders when I started paying attention to the word "should." I caught myself saying life should be easier…They should understand…I should have this figured out by now…I should be further along…I should be able to handle this better.

Have you ever noticed just how much pressure lives inside that one word?!

Here’s a big fat truth: As soon as we're in should, we're no longer dealing with reality; we're neck deep in an argument with reality. Not only is that argument exhausting, but to quote Byron Katie, “When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time."

Here are two things that helped me to shed the weight of burnout:

1. Get curious rather than judgmental. Years ago, I put sticky notes around my house that simply said, "Isn't that interesting?" It was my way of reminding myself to pay attention to what was happening in my own head without judging it.

2. I replaced the word “should” with either the phrase “I choose to” or the phrase “I choose not to.” And poof! Instead of feeling the shame of should, I felt the freedom and empowerment of choice as I became much more honest with myself.

Now, when I notice that I'm trying to control something I can't control, I have a choice to stop arguing with reality.

When I notice that I'm putting impossible expectations on myself, I have a choice to accept myself and honor who I am.

When I notice that I'm creating pressure where none needs to exist, I have a choice to question what’s happening in my head.

And while none of that magically removes responsibilities, it does change how I experience and react to them. Maybe that's why I no longer think burnout is only about how much we're carrying; it's also about how we're carrying it.

And that's why I loved my most recent podcast episode so much. It wasn't really about burnout. It was about power and recognizing where it actually lives.

We can't control everything happening around us, but we can become aware of what's happening within us. We can notice, we can get curious, we can stop arguing with reality, we can take a breath, and we can remind ourselves that, in this moment, we might already have everything we need.

This week on Conversations Worth Your While™

Banish Burnout and Reclaim Your Life
(why changing jobs won’t fix your burnout)

🎧 Listen or watch this episode on your favorite platform (Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, Amazon Music, Buzzsprout). All the links are here.

Warmly,

Linda

P.S If you've been feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure about what's next, you're welcome to schedule a complimentary Clarity Session. Sometimes it helps to have someone walk alongside you while you sort through what you're carrying and what might be ready to be set down. No pressure, no sales pitch, and no expectation. Just a conversation. You can find a time with me here.

When burnout follows you everywhere

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